On/Off

 When you're looking for something, you turn the
lights on, and if you find it, you turn them off.

When you go on a date, you put your favorite
panties on, and if the date goes well, you...

Elbow Grease

 Masturbation has taught me one thing:
If you truly want something big, you have to be
willing to put in the effort it takes to achieve it.

About Time

 It's Pete's 21st birthday, and
he finally makes up his mind.

When his dad's friends have arrived
and they ask "What happened to Pete?"
Pete pops in and gives them a quick show.

Worth The Risk

 Recently, there is a restaurant that has become very popular.

Even if the manager warned the customers that the spiciest
dish on the menu could cause stomach discomfort, they would

rather feel regret for not listening than for never trying.

Irony

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Stay Fit At Home

 The human body is indeed very amazing: the hornier
you are, the better you can sync with the rhythm.

You don‘t believe me? Okay, hurry up and
give it a try, while you're still horny.

The Silver Lining

 Jack made a mistake at work and was very worried that he
would be fired. Fortunately, he had an understanding boss who
was willing to give him a chance to prove if he was worth keeping.

Stay Humble

 It's interesting watching people underestimate you...
until they realize you were being humble, not incapable.