Disappointment

 Disappointment is when you dated a hiking enthusiast but everyone thought
you were only interested in the hiking enthusiast for ulterior motives.

An even bigger disappointment is - Not once did it happen.

Unnecessary Attention

 I try to keep a low profile while I'm outdoors,
and I think I've been managing that well. 

I don't squat down as often as I used to.

The Prelude

 Always remember someone's effort
is a reflection of their interest in you.

You know he's the one if he manages
to make you beg during the foreplay.

Better Luck Next Time

 Cinderella removed just one shoe and found the love of her life.
I removed all my clothes and he still left. Now I'm horny as hell.

The World Is Your Oyster

 The road ahead is full of possibilities.
Life is short, make sure your dress is shorter.

Foresight

 Foresight is the ability to see the storm as
 soon as they say, "Can we buy you a drink?"

The Only Explanation

 I've been having the same dream for the last couple
of nights - Me having sex with my boss at work.

I think he put a 'horny spell' on me!

So Be It

 My biggest flex is that I don't need to be loud to be
noticed; the mystery does most of the heavy lifting.